Friday, August 26, 2011

BROKEN

I can tell when it's starting to happen. When the anger starts building up inside of me. When my blood starts to boil. Once again, I witness someone's negativity and self-centered ways spill over onto others. I get rattled to the point that I find myself imagining conversations, explaining with confident clarity that I don't want, we don't want, no one wants to be covered with the filth left in their wake. How does hate consume someone so completely, leaving not blindness, but actually drive? A sick feeling lingers as I eventually and consistently return to prayer for them.

For them.

And I hide my sins from others. Exposing the safe ones, the familiar, the common, but certainly not everything. No, everything would be too much for people, for friends, for family, for Him. If I try hard enough, and pretend long enough, I can trick anyone into believing that it's the muck and the mire that others are in and need to be saved from. They flaunt it with disregard, and I acknowledge it with pride. Finally it clicks, though, as I eventually and consistently return to prayer for me.

For me.

We all have darkness inside of us, but we all have light as well. Tears start to well up in my eyes thinking about what He did for people, what He did for you, what He did for me. What starts with sadness turns to joy. And a smile forms as I eventually and consistently return to prayer for Him.

For Him.

4 comments:

  1. Love this.

    And singing myself to sleep with this song.

    Even when the rain falls.

    thank you.


    --S.S.

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  2. Tom,

    What a moving post! Thank you for the powerful words and the reminder that we are washed by the water. "He who is in Christ is a new creature. Old things have passed and all things have become new."

    God Bless,

    Dwight

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  3. Tom,

    Thanks for that. You were writing about me today.

    Grace and peace,
    Doug

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  4. this is beautifully powerful, tom!

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