Monday, June 13, 2011
It would be nice if we always agreed with everything God has in store for us. Of course, it seemingly would be nice if His plans for us would match our plans for us. However, we're so self-centered that we're unable to determine what's best for us, and, quite frankly, we're unable to realize it's not just about us. But, we just don't get it when we're in the moment, do we?
There have been plenty of times when God and I haven't seen eye to eye. My anger toward Him has risen to unhealthy levels, but even when I can't seem to forgive Him, He always forgives me. And, slowly but surely, I return to Him because He's always there waiting patiently for me. I simmer down, time passes, and I realize what He had in store for me and why it was best. Well, sometimes I do. And, I figure when I don't, there will come a day when I do.
God just doesn't make sense to us. Die to live (Matthew 10:39)? To be first is to be last (Mark 10:31)? Being a leader means you must be a servant of all (Mark 10:43)? We want what we want, and if God really loved us and answered our prayers, He'd give it to us, right? Sounds a lot like the way children speak to their parents.
I look ahead and don't always see it. I look behind me and it makes sense. So, I suppose if I'm honest, I actually have tried to throw down with God, and I've never won. And I never will.
Thank you, God.